Clinique, Lady.

Dear Lady-with-the-cystic-acne-and-the-bar-of-Clinique-soap-in-your-hand,

Thank you for lighting the fire under my ass to finally commit to writing my beauty blog. Listen, here's the deal. You came into the store I was working in today, and when I asked you if you needed help (which you did), you rejected my advice. Clearly, you do need help. You thought because of my near-flawless complexion I must not understand a thing about your plight. Here's where you're wrong, biznitch. I'm so unapologetically passionate about makeup, skincare and all other things VAIN because how you LOOK is the outward expression of how you FEEL. Don't give up hope! I promise you, there IS something we can do about it. But that bar of soap AIN'T the answer.

You tell me you have sensitive skin, and Clinique is GREAT for sensitive chicks? Yeah, think again.

First of all, why in the world are you using a bar of soap, which will harbor shitloads of bacteria? I don't need a medical degree or a professional opinion to tell you that. And that "sensitive skin" product you're waving at me?  Let's, in fact, look at the ingredient list, shall we?

Ingredients: Sodium Palmate/cocoate or palm kernelate, water purified, sodium cocyl isethionate, petrolatum, coconut acid, methyl gluceth-20, dimethicone, glycerin, sodium chloride, trisodium hedta, bht, titanium dioxide. HOLD UP THE PHONE. PETROLATUM??  Um, that shit is nasty. Please, for the love of all things good in this world, do you know what you are putting on your face, girl!? 
For information on the awesome, glamorous side effects of Petrolatum, click here. I don't even need to go further with that bullshit ingredient list.

In other news, the same way that you watch what you eat and read the ingredient list of your jar of peanut butter (which, IMO, should not contain anything other than peanuts and water) - read reviews. Read reviews RELIGIOUSLY and make EDUCATED decisions. NEVER be afraid to ask for a sample. Lastly, don't ignore me, then ask me what my opinion is on the product when you've already been using it for a while...and your face still looks like a pepperoni pizza. I'm sorry to be harsh, but I have BEEN there. Takes one to know one!

See a dermatologist, and don't take "Accutane" for an answer (more on that later.) Try Glycolics and Salicylics. Do your research. See an expert. Find something that WORKS!

So, my peeps, if you're an acne-prone, sensitive-skin sister like me, follow my blog. Or even if you're not and like my sassy reviews, holla at me. I'll have some more posts up in the next couple of days with some of my favorite products, life savers and awesome purchases. Until then - be GOOD to yourselves and your largest organ - your skin! Because life is too fucking short to feel anything but GORGEOUS.

Have an awesome weekend!